Sunday Internet Crushing: Joanna Rutkowska

September 29th, 2008 by Brianna

(I borrowed this idea from Dorothy Surrenders, who has weekend crushes on famous, smart, and/or beautiful women. I, instead, tend to crush on bloggers, and women on the Internet in general!)

This Sunday, my crush is on Joanna Rutkowska, of invisiblethings.org.

Rutkowska is a computer security researcher. Basically, she tries to find ways to break into computers and compromise their security, so that the problems that allowed the break-in can be fixed. She specializes in virtualization exploits.

Her main claim to fame the so-called ‘blue pill’. The blue pill is a small program that takes advantage of the hardware virtualization capabilities in AMD cpus, and causes the operating system to be run inside the blue pill (sort of like the Matrix, get it?), all without the operating system being able to easily stop or detect it. The publication and development of this concept caused a media storm, as it essentially exposed a design flaw in lots and lots of hardware!

I could go on and on about all the amazing things that she’s created and discovered, but as most (non-computer geek!) people would probably get rather confused and/or bored, let me just say:

Joanna Rutkowska = smart, cool, & generally awesome!

Sunday Internet Crushing: This Girl Called Automatic Win

September 22nd, 2008 by Brianna

(I borrowed this idea from Dorothy Surrenders, who has weekend crushes on famous, smart, and/or beautiful women. I, instead, will crush on bloggers, and women on the Internet in general!)

For today, my crush is on Riese, of This Girl Called Automatic Win.

Or IS she ‘the girl called automatic win’, herself? I can’t figure the title out. Is it a sentence? (“This girl called. – automatic win!”) But if that’s it, what’s she winning? Or, is it a reference to masturbation? Or all three at once? Or something else?

Really, I’m not sure I want to know. That’s the thing about Riese – she’s created her own slang, her own vocabulary, her own world - and it’s a place of wonder and beauty and unicorns and raging depression. It’s awesome because it’s weird.

I found Auto-Win by randomly clicking on someone’s blog-roll. My reaction was something along the lines of, “What the Hell is this??!!” It was strange. It had no apparent point. It was rather self-involved. For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out what ‘probs’, and ‘totes’, and ‘JK’ meant (I’m rather dense… and don’t text…) Riese rambled on and on and on and on and on. I never like crazy, in-concise, semi-pointless writing.

And yet, it was Still. Awesome.

Dear Riese:

I tried not to read your blog, I really did. I kept telling myself to delete it from my RSS reader. Reading your blog made me feel uncomfortable, even sick. I thought you might be completely insane. I felt sorry for you.

But I couldn’t help myself. I kept reading. Soon, I began to understand your writing, your world, your use of the word ‘auto’. I realized that your writing was amazing, wonderful, insightful.

And I watched your vlogs, which scared me even more, but I came to appreciate them too, and now…

I think that I get you. I think I get how your brain works. And I like it.

You still creep me out, sometimes, Riese – but I love you anyway!

Brianna